EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
By Mauricio
Fraga-Rosenfeld
Last week our
daughter Daniela met with her teacher to discuss a zero grade that was not
deserved for a homework assignment. The teacher’s attitude was not welcoming
and was not willing to listen. She said there are no exceptions!
I thought, what a vain and unrealistic view of life for an educator and a defeating attitude for kids.
During my school years, I was never studious, but I was always sharp and a determined kid. As an old man, I realized that my success was not a result of my Intelligence Quotient “IQ”, but a result of my Emotional Intelligence “EQ.”
EQ is a relatively recent behavioral concept that people are just beginning to acknowledge. It is defined as "the ability to monitor one's own and others' feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one's thinking and actions."
EQ was raised to prominence with Daniel Goleman's book “Emotional Intelligence.” Goleman in his book identified the five ‘domains’ of EQ as: self-awareness, mood management, self-motivation, empathy and managing relationships.
The traditional notion that IQ contributes to success is too narrow of a tool to really measure success. Success is measured more accurately with EQ, which takes into account character and behavior.
Success does not come by just possessing a high IQ or by being theoretical. In his book, Goleman explains that IQ only contributes to 20% of "factors that determine life success," and assures that EQ accounts for the other 80%. We all have met people with very high IQ’s and have PHD’s but are socially awkward and are uncomfortable in a group setting.
The old model of learning was based on memorizing disseminated information. The new model of learning is based on motivation, understanding oneself, setting goals, intentions, responses, and understanding others and their feelings. Unfortunately this model is almost nonexistent! At school, work or at home!
A good teacher is the one that is there to nurture growth and improvement allowing kids to fail but enable them to attest themselves. Those are the teachers we remember all our life!
The old method of hammering students down like a nail along with the philosophy of punitive behavioral change no longer works.
Dominic Randolph a great educator that focuses on character development, and positive psychology points out that, “The push on tests is missing out on some serious parts of what it means to be a successful human.” And he believes that “Emotional Intelligence breeds success, because it keeps failure in perspective, and allows children to begin to think of themselves as successful in overcoming adversity.”
Children who learn how to deal with failure and gain knowledge from each failure tend to be emotionally intelligent. A child who fears failure will lack the ability to overcome adverse scenarios in their life. A child that is fragile and fails will view him or herself as a failure.
This is why standardized testing is so misleading. Children who are pushed for test results are not passionate about “achievement” and their curiosity is discouraged. They are not provided with the opportunity to gain the skills needed to overcome difficult situations.
Success is not the result of high-test scores but of people that have Emotional Intelligence, passion and determination.
Although Daniela was not able to get the teacher to review her grade, she was determined to let the teacher know that she did not agree with her decision. She knows that this grade would not affect her life, but it is unfair and most importantly, Daniela was willing to challenge it…
Here is great link about the importance of keeping failure in perspective and allowing children to begin to think of themselves as victorious. "John Merrow, Paul Tough, Dave Levin and Dominic Randolph..."
I thought, what a vain and unrealistic view of life for an educator and a defeating attitude for kids.
During my school years, I was never studious, but I was always sharp and a determined kid. As an old man, I realized that my success was not a result of my Intelligence Quotient “IQ”, but a result of my Emotional Intelligence “EQ.”
EQ is a relatively recent behavioral concept that people are just beginning to acknowledge. It is defined as "the ability to monitor one's own and others' feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one's thinking and actions."
EQ was raised to prominence with Daniel Goleman's book “Emotional Intelligence.” Goleman in his book identified the five ‘domains’ of EQ as: self-awareness, mood management, self-motivation, empathy and managing relationships.
The traditional notion that IQ contributes to success is too narrow of a tool to really measure success. Success is measured more accurately with EQ, which takes into account character and behavior.
Success does not come by just possessing a high IQ or by being theoretical. In his book, Goleman explains that IQ only contributes to 20% of "factors that determine life success," and assures that EQ accounts for the other 80%. We all have met people with very high IQ’s and have PHD’s but are socially awkward and are uncomfortable in a group setting.
The old model of learning was based on memorizing disseminated information. The new model of learning is based on motivation, understanding oneself, setting goals, intentions, responses, and understanding others and their feelings. Unfortunately this model is almost nonexistent! At school, work or at home!
A good teacher is the one that is there to nurture growth and improvement allowing kids to fail but enable them to attest themselves. Those are the teachers we remember all our life!
The old method of hammering students down like a nail along with the philosophy of punitive behavioral change no longer works.
Dominic Randolph a great educator that focuses on character development, and positive psychology points out that, “The push on tests is missing out on some serious parts of what it means to be a successful human.” And he believes that “Emotional Intelligence breeds success, because it keeps failure in perspective, and allows children to begin to think of themselves as successful in overcoming adversity.”
Children who learn how to deal with failure and gain knowledge from each failure tend to be emotionally intelligent. A child who fears failure will lack the ability to overcome adverse scenarios in their life. A child that is fragile and fails will view him or herself as a failure.
This is why standardized testing is so misleading. Children who are pushed for test results are not passionate about “achievement” and their curiosity is discouraged. They are not provided with the opportunity to gain the skills needed to overcome difficult situations.
Success is not the result of high-test scores but of people that have Emotional Intelligence, passion and determination.
Although Daniela was not able to get the teacher to review her grade, she was determined to let the teacher know that she did not agree with her decision. She knows that this grade would not affect her life, but it is unfair and most importantly, Daniela was willing to challenge it…
Here is great link about the importance of keeping failure in perspective and allowing children to begin to think of themselves as victorious. "John Merrow, Paul Tough, Dave Levin and Dominic Randolph..."
